When I was asked to blog about the cost of divorce, I thought of the emotional turmoil, anger, hurt, disappointment, loss of self-esteem - all things that you cannot put a price on. Though they may not be quantified in terms of money, they are surely a cost of divorce.
At Divorce Option workshops, people always ask how much it will cost to get a divorce. The attorneys usually respond with their stock answer, “It depends.” If you google it, the answer is the average divorce costs $15,000 per person. I had an attorney tell me last week that it could cost as much as $30,000-$40,000 per person for just one court hearing about one matter such as parental responsibilities or spousal support.
What Goes Into a Divorce
When I think of the cost of divorce, I think mostly about attorneys, divorce coaches, therapists… You get the idea - the divorce industry.
Other professionals you might need:
If you have children, you might need a PRE (Parental Responsibility Evaluator.)
If you or your spouse haven’t worked recently, you might need an occupational evaluation to determine earning ability.
If you or your spouse own a business, you might need a business valuation.
If you own real estate, you might need an appraisal.
Wow, that really adds up. And this is only the professional fees.
The Full Picture of a Costly Divorce
In that same Google search I found a blog by a woman who said her divorce for an 8-month marriage, cost her $17,625. And it was uncontested with no children!
When I read the blog, she had included:
Deposit, furniture and supplies for a new apartment, $3,440.
Refinancing car loan to remove her husband’s name from the title and loan, $6,480.
Separating phone plan (buy-out her phone), $350.
Therapy, out of pocket costs not covered by insurance, $1,200.
Personal loan to pay off a loan she had co-signed with her husband, $6,000.
Court filing fees, $225
When I added up her expenses, I came up with more than her total and that didn’t even include the $5,940 for rent or her $480 increase in annual car insurance premiums. Although these expenses were caused by the divorce, I wouldn’t have counted them in the divorce cost since they were not costs to get the divorce. No matter how you define the cost of divorce I think we can all agree that the costs are high
What if there was a way to lower both the financial and emotional costs?
How Collaborate Divorce Reduces the Cost of Divorce
I believe Collaborative family law is one of the best ways to reduce the cost of divorce - both financial and emotional. In the Collaborative process, a team of professionals, including attorneys, therapists and consultants, work together to help a couple end their marriage as peacefully as possible. Because of the settlement emphasis, the attorneys seek to understand not only their own client’s view, but also the perspective of their client’s spouse.
Often, mental health and financial professionals work with the lawyers to form a Collaborative team that attends to the emotional, financial and legal aspects of the parties’ situation. This team approach employs the right professional at the right time, using each to work in their specialty area. In Collaborative family law, parties are assured of getting the assistance they need to succeed, while avoiding costs associated with destructive fighting. Collaborative family law cases are substantially less expensive than cases taken to court and at the same time, collaborative divorce is almost always more satisfactory and productive for the participants.
There is almost no post-decree litigation because parties are more likely to abide by agreements they fashioned. Money spent on the collaborative process is a wise investment in a better future for the parties and for their children.
About the Author
Bev Banfield is a CPA, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and founder of Banfield Divorce Financial Advisors. The Denver-based company was established to help divorcing couples more easily and equitably separate their finances. Banfield has more than 30 years of experience in financial analysis, budgeting, and auditing. Contact us for more information at (303) 482-1726 or Email.